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Joke of the Day

"As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry."

"What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach? A pocket full of shells."

"What is the best way for a pet shop to get business? Word of mouse."

"For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years."

"Did you hear about the meteorologist competition? The losers got precipitation trophies."

"Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they were veloco*raptured*."

"One day, a man ran through Red Square in Moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, ""Khrushchev is a fool!"" He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets."

"How can you tell if an envelope is gay? It comes in the mail."

"What did Donald Duck become after losing his tv show? a quack dealer."

"Him: why doesn't anyone want me? Me: I want you. Him: why doesn't anyone else want me?"