51999

Joke of the Day

"One day, a man ran through Red Square in Moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, ""Khrushchev is a fool!"" He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets."

"A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

"Paid a visit to 'www.conjunctivitis.com' earlier... Believe me, it's a site for sore eyes."

"Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O."

"I'm trying to write a joke with the word ""cunt"" But I cunt."

"Guy is taking a super loud dump in the toy. So I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"" I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"""

"My pistol only holds 9 bullets, so when I lose my shit I only get to kill 9 people or one cat."

"What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient? I forgot."

"Let them know how much you care. This holiday season, say it with a mass text."

"Two blondes were walking down the railroad tracks. The first blonde said ""man, these steps are killing me!"" The second one said ""it's not the steps that are killing me, it's these low hand rails!"""