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Joke of the Day
"I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be."
Next Joke
"What I say: Get dressed Brush teeth Get in the car What my kids hear: Have a snack Shriek like monkeys Open 3 umbrellas indoors Go poop"
"Girl, do you work at Arby's? Because you've got a roast beef pussy."
"Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?"
"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."
"What's the worst thing about owning a dildo farm? Squatters."
"Americans may pull guns but Canadians.... ..may pull leaves."
"ST BERNARD DOG: [getting ready for work] Honey have you seen my barrel? WIFE: Which one? SBD: The little one I wear AROUND MY NECK EVERY DAY"
"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in tendifferent puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately,no pun in ten did."
"What birds are found in Portugal ? Portu-geese !"