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Joke of the Day

"Girl, do you work at Arby's? Because you've got a roast beef pussy."

"The 2016 US Presidential Election That's it. That's the entire fucking joke. Edit: Woke up to hundreds of messages and FP status. Damn. Thanks, folks! And thanks for the gold!"

"The man who invented the Kinder Surprise had died. The pathologist who does his autopsy is in for a treat."

"Don't you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?"

"What did the pirate day on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!"

"What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball? 2^nd base."

"5: let's play the quiet game. Me: Okay 5: ready..? Start. Me: 5: Me: 5: whoever talks first is the loser."

"Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B."

"Hilary should change her name to Monica. NSFW She obviously wants the next presidents dick in her mouth the way she steals his rhetoric"

"If white guys are day drinking, it's inevitable that they're going to start wrestling at some point later that night."