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Joke of the Day

"The snow in the front yard is melting and so far I've found 3 unopened beers. *Adds party planner to resume*"

"What does the Army call it's Muslim infantry units with vehicles? Mecca-nized infantry."

"Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention? Thankfully there were no souls on board."

"First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra."

"Why did Cain kill his brother? Because he was Abel to."

"How does a nice guy change a light bulb? He doesn't. He just compliments it and then gets pissed when it won't screw."

"HOT LOCAL SINGLES WANT TO MEET YOU SO THEIR FELONIOUS BOYFRIENDS CAN STEAL YOUR I-PHONE"

"Why do mathematicians love talking about Jesus? Because he's a cross product."

"If I were a ghost, I'd spell ""antidisestablishmentarianism"" on the Ouija board just to waste those idiots' time."

"ANOTHER BULL NAME Q: What do you call a masturbating bull? A: Beef Strokinoff."