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Joke of the Day

"My 84 mother to my 19: Make-up sure does wonders but you don't want your future husband waking up wondering who you are in the morning."

"Have you heard Schrodinger's joke? It's both funny and not funny at the same time, but there is no way of knowing if anyone else will laugh at it until you've told it."

"Funny Jokes, I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Billy: Hi! What's your name? Johnny: Johnny. B: Hey, what's THAT? J: An iPhone 4. Mom: Who's your new friend, Billy? B: Johnny. He's poor."

"Have you heard about that new program that only the living can watch? You'd have to be dead to miss it!"

"If only there were mosquito nets in Africa... We could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"What do you call a racist dog from Animal Crossing? KKK Slider"

"Did you know that in Louisiana, a football field goes underwater every hour? Of course, no one there cares until it's an actual football field."

"What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after? A one night stand with Jesus"

"What do you call a black kid riding a bike????? A thief...."