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Joke of the Day

"My 84 mother to my 19: Make-up sure does wonders but you don't want your future husband waking up wondering who you are in the morning."

"Why do Welshmen like to embarrass their wives? It makes them rather sheepish."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints."

"Where does the Joker keep a record of his favourite shrubland areas? Heath Ledger."

"[i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on"

"There is nothing funny about PMS **.**"

"God: Don't eat that Apple. You can smoke this plant I made instead [20 min later] Adam: Sooo hungry Eve: Me too Adam: That apple looks good"

"Why do people have legs? So our ass wouldn't hit the floor while we walk!!!!"

"Out of embarrassment, I just told a train passenger I'm crying cos my bf dumped me. Real reason is I'm listening to the Lion King soundtrack"

"2 for the price of 1 Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the idiot's house Knock Knock <Who's there?> It's the Chicken"