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Joke of the Day

"Funny Jokes, I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Thought up this joke the other day What's the difference between a deaf dog and a one night stand? The one never comes when he's called and the other never calls after he comes."

"A dyslexic man... Walks into a bra"

"*spends 4 hours applying sunscreen to kids *kids play outside for 7 minutes"

"What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy? A family reunion."

"[Sky-diving] INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute! ME: my shoe? INSTRUCTOR: your parachute! ME: my pair of shoes? [later] CORONER: where's his shoes?"

"I hate it when I'm trying to make money and someone greases the stripper pole."

"American Apparel has really cornered the market on the modern, independent date rape victim."

"Daughter asked me she wants to feel like a princess so I forced her on a marriage with a man she's never met to secure our alliance with the French."

"Open an ice cream shop with flavors like ""don't be sad,"" ""they're not worth it,"" ""you deserve better"" and see if people don't flock right in"