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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after? A one night stand with Jesus"

"A man brings his wife as Aspirin... She says, 'Why did you bring me this? I don't have a headache.' He says, 'Good, let's fuck!'."

"Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way."

"TIL There is a man who is afraid of negative numbers He would stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Give a man a fish... And, apparently, you're a shitty secret Santa."

"Walking around Houston airport taking iPads from unattended kids. I have 4 so far."

"What be a pirate's favorite letter? Ah, ye'd think it be R matey.... but actually it's the C!"

"whats the difference between hell and gaza? there's no kids in hell"

"The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds I have no shame..."

"If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I'm just a pilot so I always travel"