70170

Joke of the Day

"My mate Dave drowned... For his funeral, we got a wreath in the shape of a life saver. It's what he would've wanted."

"What is the difference between being hungry and horny? What she means by ""eating out."""

"So I was in bed with this woman and she said, ""Not in the ass."" I said, ""Hey, it's my thumb, it's my ass. If you don't like it, go in the other room."" Garry Shandling"

"What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party? Shot in the head in Dallas."

"What happened when the dog went to the flea circus ? He stole the show !"

"They told me to keep it in my pants... But it was too hard. Happy Valentine's Day folks!"

"I've satisfied every waitress I've met... With just the tip"

"What do you get when you combine 99 lesbians and a politician? 100 people that don't do dick"

"How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle? Nail it's other hand to the floor."

"Some guy jumped me in the alley...! Yeah he was so nice. My battery had run out because I left my lights on!"