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Joke of the Day

"So I was in bed with this woman and she said, ""Not in the ass."" I said, ""Hey, it's my thumb, it's my ass. If you don't like it, go in the other room."" Garry Shandling"

"Having sex is like playing Bridge If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Why did god invent the yeast infection? So women would know what it's like living with an irritating cunt."

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."

"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore"

"One night a burglar broke into my house All he got was practice."

"I tried talking with a midget in prison uniform going down an elevator... But he was a little condescending."

"Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, I wonder how we're supposed to imitate them on the dance floor."

"I went to a lingerie shop I picked up some pants and asked them server if they were satin He said ""no they're new"""

"What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet? Lieutenant"