70151

Joke of the Day

"if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off"

"You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking."

"I never understood why being called an Einstein is bad. It's only relatively insulting."

"What should we call people who leave crusty bits of food in the corner of their mouths? #Herpeaters."

"How come lesbians can't be vegan? They all eat pussy."

"Why doesn't the veteran have a blow-up sex doll? Because of the flashbacks."

"The key to a successful weight loss program is a broken jaw I'd guess."

"What does a Greek say when he receives his salary? Danke schon."

"Dear lady, $14 is crazy for an airport sandwich but complaining to the counter guy is like telling a cop to pull troops out of Afghanistan."

"Robin: ""Please?"" Batman: ""No."" ""It's prom!"" ""You can't drive the Batmobile!"" Alfred: ""Can I? It's Bingo night."" Batman: *tosses keys*"