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Joke of the Day

"if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off"

"Best actor of all time in human history. Also Starring"

"Bought the cheapest possible Mercedes yesterday 'cause I needed to use the bathroom at the dealership."

"How do you blend in at a bald convention? Chemo-flage"

"The poor sentence got hurt while riding his bike... He got his dangling modifier stuck in the chain."

"A kid got in trouble for masturbating in the coat room All he did was jacket"

"A pig's favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York."

"Is there some organization that evaluates the quality of shea butter? Because if so, it could have Fifty Grades of Shea."

"Want to get your kids attention and make sure they hear what you say? Start whispering something to your spouse."

"Remember, if you gently caress a State Trooper's cheek they gotta let you go without a ticket."