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Joke of the Day

"Dear lady, $14 is crazy for an airport sandwich but complaining to the counter guy is like telling a cop to pull troops out of Afghanistan."

"What do you call a happy ending at a Jewish massage parlor? Free."

"I swear if I see one more person enter this WalMart wearing pajamas I am going to take the belt off my bathrobe and choke them with it"

"Why wasn't the vampire working? He was on his coffin break."

"RT this if you like to repeat what other people say"

"Reddit gold is a lot like Nazi gold Accumulated over the corpses of people you've burned"

"What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password? 1forrest1"

"I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit."

"What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? A tire."

"Jim Lehrer is moderating this debate with the skill of an NFL replacement referee."