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Joke of the Day

"Dear lady, $14 is crazy for an airport sandwich but complaining to the counter guy is like telling a cop to pull troops out of Afghanistan."

"I need farmer jokes I'm doing a speech at the Christmas party and they are farmers....I want to make fun of them"

"A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem... He says,""Give me 2 shots..."" The bartender cuts him off saying,""You only get one shot."""

"TV sitcom idea: Wacky copy editor who yells ""nailed it!"" even when he didn't, also he's alone as mankind was obliterated by a viral pandemic"

"What do you call a frog that is illegally parked? Toad."

"What did the cow say to the horse? Mooooooo"

"My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule."

"I paid $10 and got $20 worth of fishing supplies. It was a net gain."

"Pumpkin Cider? I hardly know her!"

"A group of held hands can raise your spirits. It's seance!"