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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? In the case of the bmw, the pricks are on the inside."

"How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house."

"As a kid I always wanted to be a conductor ... Now I think it requires too much training."

"Wife: [holding old dog] I thought you took care of this yesterday Stormtrooper husband: *looks out back to see gun marks all over the yard*"

"What does a muslim man call a woman he wants to sleep with, but can't due to religious reasons? Harambae"

"What does a five year old and a penis have in common? If it doesn't come when you tell it to, then just beat it harder. (I am so sorry)"

"If you are an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? You're peein'"

"How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it..."

"Did you hear about the wooden horse? Wooden poop."

"Did you hear about the man who had his right side cut off He's dead. Died from blood loss. Poor guy. On the bright side, his family got what's left of him."