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Joke of the Day

"to the scum photoshopping bandanas on my wedding photos, STOP. my wife has a bad memory & is in tears, she thinks she married a bandana guy"

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know binary, those who don't, and.. those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke."

"I just had my foot run over by a rental car... ...fucking Hertz!"

"Why did the stoner put laxatives in the pot brownies? For shits and giggles"

"I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows."

"What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ? Reality. I'll show myself out now..."

"I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of just nuts."

"What do you call a police officer that shoots black people? A police officer in America."

"Back in my day you knew who your real friends were because they ranked you in order of importance on Myspace."

"White people be loving the shit out of fall foliage."