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Joke of the Day

"I think the closest I've come to playing romantic music at a girl's window is when I forgot to turn down ""Eye Of The Tiger"" at the drivethru"

"What do you call a stomach ache you get from eating a Cuban sandwich? Castro-intestinal distress."

"""We suspect you may have inability to vocalise emotion disease"" ""I can't say I'm surprised"" *doc strokes beard* ""Hmm yes.Just as we thought"""

"Why did god invent yeast infections? So women know what it's like to be with an annoying cunt"

"Am thinking of watching ""Les Miserables"". Am dying to find out why this dude Les is so sad. If I could just meet this Les guy and cheer him up, he'd be... (wait for it)... less miserable. :P"

"What do you get when you turn a blonde upside down? A brunette with bad breath."

"Where do otters come from? Otter space. [credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]"

"Million dollar idea - an app that connects you with other people eating beef jerky in their car."

"Russian skater just explained that he is ""not a robot,"" proving, of course, that he is a robot. #Olympics"

"Why are most demolitions experts happy? They get the best blow jobs in town."