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Joke of the Day

"Roses are brown, Violets are brown.. Who the fuck took a shit in my garden?"

"What do landfills and hookers have in common? Uncovered loads cost double"

"Do you remember that time you met Bill Cosby? No? Add another one to the list!"

"Total shocker that you actually have to pay for things when you get to the register. Go ahead and dump your purse on the counter. We'll wait"

"A boy went into the local department store where he saw a sign on the escalator - 'Dogs must be carried on this escalator.' The boy then spent the next tow hours looking for a dog."

"What did the fish say when it bumped its head? Dam."

"My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game."

"What do you call a Scotsman that's been strangled to death by his own clothing? Kilt."

"What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love? Yeah you like that you dirty pore?"

"I lost two things today. My virginity.. ..and my job at the morgue."