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Joke of the Day

"My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game."

"Why is Natural Light Bear Grylls favorite beer? Cause it tastes like piss."

"Hillary said she wants to be the next president because there haven't been many women in the Oval Office. Bill said, ""That's not true, there's been plenty of women."""

"*Paranormal Factivity* [I walk into my bathroom] ""OH MY GOD"" ['WHALES ARE ACTUALLY MAMMALS' is written in blood on the mirror]"

"What do you call a cow that has abortion? Decaffeinated"

"What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut."

"What do you call people who use the pull-out method? Mom and Dad."

"What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to his wife when she cheated on him? ""May divorce be with you."""

"That's weird, my waitress stopped flirting after I paid the bill..."

"What is the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command."