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Joke of the Day

"I lost two things today. My virginity.. ..and my job at the morgue."

"Pity the poor egg. He only gets laid once in his life, and even then it's by his mother."

"I was looking at the fruit in the bowl, thinking... How the fuck did I end up with a gay goldfish..."

"When a character in a movie says the title in the middle of dialogue they should be required to wink and make tiny guns with their fingers."

"There was an explosion at my favorite restaurant last night. News reports say that someone ordered the ""chicken a la Hu-akbar."""

"How does the Asian chef get to work? He woks."

"Sorry babe I wasn't paying attention sorry babe I wasn't paying attention, can you start over ? ok, from where ? 2009"

"Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid's face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it."

"At least once in our life, we all have tried to balance the light switch in between the on and off position."

"What does a communist prostitute do? Seizes the means of reproduction"