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Joke of the Day

"What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love? Yeah you like that you dirty pore?"

"The man who invented distorted mirrors has died. His funeral will be held in asymmetry."

"Maybe you never should have domesticated your peeves."

"*wife looks through my phone *divorces me 8 times"

"Yo momma so fat.. ..she has a real horse on her Polo shirt."

"I don't have a summer home, but I do have several different email addresses."

"Properly relocating a cavewoman Q: Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair? A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt."

"Naming my law firm/night club ""Mullet."" People will have to walk through the business in the front to get to the party in the back."

"goals for 2016: 1) spend more time with my son 2) learn about his fav video games 3) defeat him 4) become video game household champion"

"What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin"