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Joke of the Day

"Do you remember that time you met Bill Cosby? No? Add another one to the list!"

"A reddit mod walks into a bar... She promptly kicks everyone out, locks the doors and, declaring herself to be the bartender, proceeds to get drunk with power."

"India launched a rocket to Mars this morning. That's a heck of a place to put a call centre."

"A man sells his parachute... The man yells ""Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!"""

"Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a very large bill."

"What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......"

"What's the difference between your mom and my computer? I can still turn your mom on."

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from Taken the other day: ""I will find you and I will kill you."" My grandkids refuse to play hide and seek with me anymore."

"""Bro, if she can still walk to the kitchen to make you a sandwich, you did it wrong."" - murderers, apparently."

"What's Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable? James Brady"