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Joke of the Day
"Mitt Romney ."
Next Joke
"People always ask me why I procrastinate.. They say, ""you know, the early bird gets the worm."" I just respond, ""yes, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese."""
"Thanks, student loans, for getting me through school I don't think I could ever repay you"
"I bought a book on how to build stairs Its a step by step guide"
"What's the saddest thing about being a chicken? You only get laid once."
"What do you call a spoiled sausage? A brat-wurst."
"WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS"
"Knock Knock Who's there? You are (Directed by M night Shayamalan)"
"Hey [STOP] Got your voicemail earlier [STOP] I'm replying with a telegram because you're apparently a big fan of outdated technology [STOP]"
"He slapped his two inches on the doctors desk. The doctor said ""What is wrong with it?"" ""It's swollen."""