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Joke of the Day

"He slapped his two inches on the doctors desk. The doctor said ""What is wrong with it?"" ""It's swollen."""

"About delete my Facebook account, I hope Stacey and Heather from the 3rd grade can handle the rejection."

"Saw some cows just standing around in a field doing absolutely nothing. Get a job, hippies."

"Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified. *-Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare*"

"You know those little helmet stickers some football teams use to reward personal achievement? Bald guys should do that."

"If you had a choice between world piece and a million dollars, what color Ferrari would you buy?"

"I had to break it off with my girlfriend. She wouldn't fake orgasms. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about my needs."

"Donald Trump calls on Hillary to shut down her foundation. Meanwhile, we're all still begging him to choose a more natural color for his."

"You say potato and I say... Who are you and why are you saying potato to me?"

"What do numbers look like when they get divorced? 96"