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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just kidding, feminists don't change anything"

"How to tell if your kid is doing drugs 1. Are your drugs missing?"

"Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory? He didn't like being spoken to in that voice"

"""Yo dad, did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?"" *dad checks & realises his mistake* ""you know what else isn't in here son? Adopted"""

"I hate those unrealistic movies...you know, the ones where men are friends with women."

"So this guy who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of no where"

"If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods... But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy."

"What did Justin Bieber's biggest fan say to him when they met? nothing, hes a fan."