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Joke of the Day

"CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!"

"A guy gets pulled over for speeding The cops walks up to the guy's car window and says ""Son, I've been here just a waitin' for you all day."" The guy replies ""Well, I got here as fast as I could""."

"You can borrow any movie you want from Ricky Astly except one He's never gonna give you UP."

"DJ: ""MARRIED PEOPLE IN THE CLUB TONIGHT MAKE SOME NOOOIISE!"" *Groans* *Sobs* *sighs* *a solitary gunshot*"

"""I want to get drunk in public."" ""Me too but on pancake batter."" ""If only there was a way to solve both problems."" -The Origin of Eggnog"

"Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7."

"3 Year Old: Mommy, was daddy ever inside you like I was? Wife: Yes. But only for a minute... two tops. Me: ..."

"It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today... And that's just for the alcohol."

"Why did Yellow divorce Green? Because Green blue Indigo."