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Joke of the Day

"3 Year Old: Mommy, was daddy ever inside you like I was? Wife: Yes. But only for a minute... two tops. Me: ..."

"My daughter reached that age where they start asking embarrassing questions about sex The last one was ""is that all you got?"""

"What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans? If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture."

"You know when doctors leave the room they are just checking Web MD right?"

"""nice dog or cat or baby or whatever"" i offer politely, my eyes scanning the room for the taco dip. ""was it expensive?"""

"*Sniffs* ""Spring in the air!"" ""Why should I?"" *ba dum tss*"

"Early Time I'm on a Whiskey diet, I lost three days already."

"They say 75% of all Americans live next to a pedophile. Not me.... I live next door to a hot 10 year old girl."

"A guy walks up to his friend and says... ""What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?"" His friend says ""I don't know"" The guy says, ""Nothing, you already told her twice."""

"Greg wins 25,000,000.00 in the nationally lottery and runs home ""Margret, I won the lottery, pack your bags"", ""why Greg, where are we going?"". ""I don't care, pack your bags and get out"" says Greg."