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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a bar... And the bartender says, ""What'll it be, love?"" The woman replies, ""I'll take a double entendre."" So he gave it to her."

"Some grammar Nazis told me about a seminar they are going to attend about cause and effect. They're there to affect its effect and it's there for their two affects too."

"Knock Knock..."

"My daughter bought a new mattress for when she goes off to school, but was undecided about whether to keep it. I told her to sleep on it."

"The chicken and the road of doom Why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know kernel sanders got him. R.i.p. lil' chicken"

"I'm just a girl trying to keep up with a guy on my Fitbit challenge who may be walking out more sexual frustration than me"

"The lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life,"" but john came fifth and won a toaster."

"Have you heard about the new Scientologist car? It's got cruise control..."

"There's a new TV drama coming out starring Saddam Hussein it's going to be called ""Soap on a Rope"""

"The key to a great tweet is attention to detale."