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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so hard to order pizza from me? I'll update with the hilarious punchline later..."

"What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice? Her: What? You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)"

"Why are there so many good jokes about feminists? Well, they're huge targets..."

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? Oh, you have? How'd you get between their tiny little legs?"

"What kind of woman are the most irrational? The ones with the golden proportions!"

"Apparently the USA is the biggest contributor to noise pollution in the world My solution: put a silencer in every school"

"I almost got ran over by joggers. I saved myself by pretending to be a stop light. I got away while they jogged in place."

"If a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut. But if a guy does the same thing, then he's gay."

"This year for Lent, I'm just giving up."

"I'm weird but not ""sit around the house with my shirt tucked in even though I've got no plans to leave"" weird. That stuff's 4 serial killers."