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Joke of the Day

"I dreamed that I discovered a new color, but it was just a pigment of my imagination. Original joke, yay!"

"The dad asks his son: ""What has four legs and isn't alive? Son: ""nice try, a chair!"" Dad: ""Nope. Our dog just died."""

"My poop very recently stopped being imaginary. Shit just got real."

"A child is like a blank slate. They make a horrible screeching sound when you drag your nails across their face."

"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory George Clooney should have been the best Batman."

"Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency? It's always prepared."

"Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection? It's just too hard."

"I just bought a device that makes my car 95% quieter! It fits perfectly over her mouth."

"Of course I swallow it's a basic function of eating. What kind of job interview is this anyway and why are there multiple cameras"

"Wanna hear a joke? My fucking grades after my midterms."