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Joke of the Day

"Awwww, she looks so sweet and peaceful when she's not yelling. -my kids, watching me sleep"

"Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!"

"I don't see the problem with suicide.. For me at least, it seems like a self solving issue."

"What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim denim denim...."

"What's the one thing Spider-man can't eat? Uncle bens rice"

"I bet in Somalia a kid has been like ""I'm so hungry!"" and another's like ""Third world problem!"" and they both laugh and die and stuff."

"Whats brown and comes out of Cowes backwards? The Isle of Wight ferry."

"What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy"

"I'm suprised that there aren't more fat lesbians... All they ever talk about is eating out."

"Man: ""If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"" Priest: ""No, not if you did not know."" Man: ""Then why did you tell me?"""