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Joke of the Day

"Man: ""If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"" Priest: ""No, not if you did not know."" Man: ""Then why did you tell me?"""

"The Russian skater has a mullet. Glasnost in front, Perestroika in back."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts"

"I joined Twitter to have something to do while I waited for the repairman. It's only been 3 years, he should be here any month now."

"What does ISIS call wine snobs? Zinfandels!!!!!!"

"A Girl once asked me how I view Lesbian relationships... I told her ""In HD"". Apparently that was not the right answer"

"""Your resume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?"" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* ""Grad school."""

"How do you write ""DO NOT TOUCH"" in braille ?"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 got rid of the headphone jack."

"I have a Polish friend who does microphone tests for bands. I have a Czech one two. Czech one two. Czech one two."