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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill 200 flies at once? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan."

"What did the water say to the boat? Nothing. It just waved."

"What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books? Empty Magazines."

"Do mermaids smoke seaweed?"

"My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon."

"Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes."

"Motorcycles, more like donor cycles."

"[1st date] HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u? ME: OMG SAME HER: What part's ur fave? ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo"

"What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac? He had a *lovely finish*."

"Why such hate on Lance Armstrong? I think his riding style is pretty dope."