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Joke of the Day

"I'd tell my neighbor about the weird smell coming from her apartment, but she's been so quiet that I don't want to disturb her."

"I have benefits if anybody needs a friend."

"*walks out into irradiated air using an antique porcelain teacup as a gas mask* *dies instantly, but with a touch of class*"

"Did you see the joke written on recycled paper? It was tearable"

"Why do we need art? Because the Earth without art is just ""Eh""."

"I don't need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends I can be certain of."

"My doctor told me to avoid trans fats. I'm really gonna miss tumblr."

"what is 40 feet long and only has 3 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair."

"My favorite part of Thanksgiving day is when I stuff the Bird. My wife enjoys it too but wishes I'd find another nickname for her lady parts."

"When they were saying ""we will find a good home for him"" I thought they were talking about the dog,I didn't know they were talking about me!"