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Joke of the Day

"what is 40 feet long and only has 3 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair."

"i'll have a burg please [waiter looks confused] a burg. a meat frisbee. a seared bovine disc. a hamburger sandwich. a bunned beefling my man"

"Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?"

"THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he speaks in typos ME: EVERYTHING IS JUST FIND BRENDA! THERAPIST: ok maybe we should take 5 ME: food idea"

"When I die I really hope that as a ghost I can travel and not be stuck in one place. I have people to scare and some I want to see naked."

"Why are millionaires bad at swimming? Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :( I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it"

"Golf ball sized hail wouldn't be so destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller."

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I cant even get into my own pants."

"My girlfriend asked if I was Happy to be fair, she always gets us dwarves confused"

"Don't you wish people could be like money? So you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and which are real?"