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Joke of the Day

"When I smell weed coming from my neighbors house I call him pretending I'm the Mexican Cartel, and accuse him of stealing my drugs."

"A grasshopper walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, I've got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper replies, ""You've got a drink named Bob?"""

"Have you heard the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there really is a dog."

"You know what they say If the water slide is broken, the log ride's still open!"

"Sometimes I put my head between my legs and fall forward. Thats how I roll."

"Why was the lightbulb invented? Somebody had an idea."

"JEllo hooker? What's the difference between Jello and a Dead Hooker? Jello wiggles when you eat it out"

"How does Hitler make his coffee? He jews it."

"Using the toilet on the airplane means I'm certified to teach yoga now."

"Did you hear about the italian chef? He pasta way"