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Joke of the Day
"Using the toilet on the airplane means I'm certified to teach yoga now."
Next Joke
"How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists? Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it."
"[restaurant] WAITER: [brings bill] ME: I got this DATE: Thanks ME: [gets out piggy bank] [hits it w/ hammer] [it is filled w/ bees] ME: RUN"
"What US state is it easiest to hide a prostitute in? H-Idaho-e"
"What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra."
"My boss was going to fire me over breakfast this morning but the coffee shop was closed. There were no grounds for dismissal."
"Just watched a guy walk out of the tanning place and immediately light a cigarette. Slow down, buddy. Don't get all the cancer today!"
"What's the difference between a slut and a bowling ball? Nothing....you find them both in an alley, finger the holes, throw them in the gutter, and they keep coming back."
"Me: *breathes* *gains weight*"
"I saw a ""best at sex"" contest for gay men, where the judges were your fellow participants. It looked fun, so I entered the competition."