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Joke of the Day
"What comes in pints? elephants"
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"A leopard can carry something twice its weight into a tree and a cougar can carry something half her age to bed."
"What do you call blueberries, raspberries and strawberries inside of a hidden chest? Berried Treasure."
"I bought my wife a dildo and a book for her birthday.. If she doesn't like the book she can go fuck herself."
"Sex is a dick activity... ...though I like to shorten it to a-dick-tive."
"You know what's better than having roses on your piano? Having tulips on your organ!"
"My girlfriend told me that her gran died of food poisoning. The toughest part was acting surprised."
"[first date] HER: i'm really into guys- ME (eager to impress her): me too"
"I've had 3 Red Bulls today and now I can taste my heartbeat."
"Would you like to hear a joke about dried grapes? It's not that good, don't go raisin your expectations."