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Joke of the Day

"I bought my wife a dildo and a book for her birthday.. If she doesn't like the book she can go fuck herself."

"Sixteen sodiums walk into a bar... ...followed by Batman."

"I like my panties like I like my bass... Dropped"

"A team of computer scientists just announced their discovery of the new largest prime number. Apparently it's 5x larger than the last one!"

"I sincerely hope that when I get older my children don't put me in a home or on a stage at a political convention."

"A man was undressing for the nurse behind a curtain He asks, ""Where do you want me to put my clothes?"" She says, ""On top of mine."""

"[Worm sitting alone] WAITER: Dinner for 1? Dumb question W: But- *worm cuts self in half* *waiter shrieks* 2nd WORM: I'll have the prime rib"

"I just embarrassingly ripped my pants open while bowling. Getting a split means something entirely different to me now."

"I married a chinese millionaire Ka Ching"

"The pirate mechanic repaired my sex-bot. Thar, she blows."