69100

Joke of the Day

"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"

"Want to take the wind out of my sails? Walk past my table at the restaurant with what I thought was my meal."

"I was gonna tell a sodium joke but... NA"

"""One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you...."" under a moving bus"

"I'm from the southern US, is it OK to poke fun at myself? Why don't schools in the south teach Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on same day? Too hard on the mule."

"What do you call a Jewish baby who isn't circumcised? A girl."

"Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus: 1. They give awesome hugs 2. They have no skeleton 3. Every date is at the aquarium"

"TIFU by hiring a footlong sandwich as a replacement teacher. Oops, wrong sub."

"Why do people who aren't able to celebrate Father's Day... ...get all of February instead?"

"Why doesn't Superman need a boss? (OC) He already has supervision."