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Joke of the Day

"What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still."

"A little bit of rain and everyone forgets how to drive. Saw one guy try to start his car with a pancake."

"What do you get when you blow up a police station? Bacon bits I came up with this joke 15 years ago when I was a dumbass teen.. maybe in poor taste with everything going on but thought I'd share."

"What did the Computer Engineer say? What did the computer Engineer say when he saw his favorite drink? ICT"

"China is now entering sperm as contestants in Olympic swimming events, claiming they are of age."

"How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds? Please wait..."

"{about to have sex} Her: *seductively kicks off heels and rips open blouse Me: *panics as I look for a spot to set down my half eaten taco"

"Makes a girlfriend in IIT. Breaks up with her. Adds Ex IITian in bio."

"I've already received over 150 RSVPs to my Halloween Shindig... It's going to be a Monster Party."

"I love balloons! I keep tying them to my arm, but I think I'm getting carried away."