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Joke of the Day

"{about to have sex} Her: *seductively kicks off heels and rips open blouse Me: *panics as I look for a spot to set down my half eaten taco"

"Why doesn't a chicken wear underwear? Because his pecker is on his face!"

"If I wear a wizard hat and robe to my cousin's wedding this weekend, I bet no one asks me if I'm next."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a trinary joke."

"A Jewish kid walks up to his grandfather.... A jewish kid walks up to his grandfather and says ""Hey poppa, can I have 50 dollars?"" And the grandfather responds ""40 dollars? I don't have 30 dollars."""

"Garry Glitter gave me my first guitar lesson the other day He showed me how to finger A minor"

"I'm much better at organizing my thoughts on Reddit than I am IRL After all, most of my comments here just have the one point."

"What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax? ""I""m arriving, I'm arriving."""

"I'm ""the VCR was heavy enough to bludgeon a large farm animal"" years old"

"Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler."