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Joke of the Day

"I love balloons! I keep tying them to my arm, but I think I'm getting carried away."

"Life milestone: when your iPhone stops autocorrecting ""fuck"" to ""duck."""

"Whats the difference between a suicide bomber and a hooker..?? Nothing.. They like to blow.."

"You can try to annoy me with bird puns but toucan play that game."

"Ever met the human version of a headache?"

"The fast food restaurant for babies. ""Welcome to Gerber King, may I take your order?"""

"What did one boob say to the other? You're my breast friend. We have had so many mammaries together."

"My girlfriend walked up and said she is expecting... me to lose weight."

"#hashtag From the stoners who brought you ""420"" and ""hella"" comes the hot new game Hash Tag!! cause, i mean, come on...regular tag just isn't that fun."

"It's funny how your tweets are funnier now that I know you're hot. -everyone on Twitter"