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Joke of the Day

"LIFE is just a game of Monopoly and RISK."

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"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But, the trouble is getting them in there."
"Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch."
"What did the mod say when he was wrong? [BANNED]"
"A police officer called my attention He asked why I have red eyes.......Now we both have sore eyes"
"Who was the best financier in the Bible? Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation."
"I have a lot of road rage. FUCK ROADS!!!"
"Does the carpet match the drapes? Nope, I've got hardwood."
"How many tumblr users does it take to change a lightbulb? Light is triggering, shitlord. DOWN WITH THE BULBTRIARCHY"
"Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval."