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Joke of the Day

"How do you count cows? With a cowculator"

"What do you call a whirlpool in a church? Holy water!"

"Do you know how to plant tulips? Yes, then how about planting tu-lips on this"

"What do you call a lion with a fancy hat? A dandy lion."

"Why dick has a sad life? Bcoz, his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him."

"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"- Fred, Velma, Shaggy... Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals? - Rhino - We know you do, Scooby, but it's not your team's turn"

"My neighbor got an iPad! I know this because I always steal his mail. My new iPad is awesome!"

"I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?"

"What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !"