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Joke of the Day

"One plus of being a fast walker is that when I'm forced to walk slowly with another person, I can pretend I'm on the moon"

"""Is your refrigerator running?"" ""Yes"" "" AWESOME! REFRIDGERATOR 2016!"""

"Whats would happens if you added Hillary Clinton and the USA and subtracted an A? I dont know but it would be Hillary Us."

"My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can."

"Progress Johnny do you still throw stones at birds ? No sir, now i use slingshot."

"Being a New York Jets fan is like watching Titanic every Sunday and cheering for the boat."

"Cahoots Husband comes home at night, goes to bed to his wife, embraces her - going to make love with her... Wife drowsily: *What are you all today - in cahoots or something?*"

"I'm about to pound some meat. Sadly this is not a euphemism. Again. *sigh*"

"So many weirdos, so little internet."

"Which gun has a perfect rating? A Five-seven."