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Joke of the Day

"Did you get those pants on sale? Guy: Hey girl did you get those pants on sale? Girl: No why. Do they look bad? Guy: No cause they'd be 100% off at my place."

"You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs."

"Where do you go when you start up a videogame about Noodles? To the lo mein menu"

"Clearly, who ever said ""more than a hand full is a waste"" never have actually had their hand on more than a hand full."

"I tried to watch the meteor shower last night I got called a pervert"

"I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver."

"Don't curse the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation"

"They say there's safety in numbers... Well tell that to 6 million Jews"

"I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector... ...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."

"Not liking me will always be your problem. Never mine."