68694

Joke of the Day

"I'm not a god. I'm a regular guy who just happens to be immortal and perfect in every way. There's a difference."

"A fox snuck into the chicken coup last night and killed them all... Authorities were unsure whether to label it a coup d'etat or a henocide..."

"You can't spell 'jew' without the word 'ew'."

"75% of men dont get enough fibre in their diet.. ....tough shit"

"My girlfriend is like a Chipmunk... She's tiny, fluffy, and has a horrible voice."

"50% of fatherhood is repeating yourself. Other 50% is untangling your kid from the shirt stuck on their head cause you didn't unbutton it."

"The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline"

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store and says ""get some bread, and while you're there pick up some eggs."" The programmer never returns."

"Doctor's Office Visit The doctor asked me how my bowel movements have been lately, I told him very dark. He asked me to describe so I said, ""every time i look into the bowl, it spells out 'DIE'"""

"Two deer hunters walk into a bar. The third one, ducks."