68662

Joke of the Day

"After getting off the ski lift, my mate said ""Let's go hit the slopes!"" I'm like, ""Why do you want to beat up those Japanese tourists?"""

"Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say ""Safe in your strong arms"" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years."

"Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce you get rid of the whole prick!"

"I love playing The Sims. It's the only time I can watch a family naked and not get arrested."

"That awkward moment when sluts hate on other sluts for being sluts."

"When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite? The Cheetahs!"

"My dad told me... My dad told me that if I don't get off reddit now he would slam my face on the keybioshdauiewbnfkbhwFIOEWJHFUI9WREFH p9efyh WHBUHF WFH89WRQ FUIWF QUIUIRP P"

"A Jewish boy asks his dad for $50 His dad then asks, ""$30? What do you need $20 for?!?"""

"What's better than double-fisting a newborn? HADOUKEN!!!"

"I'd imagine homeless people aren't the biggest fans of little dogs wearing sweaters."