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Joke of the Day

"If a gay guy jumps on your back... do you leave him there, or do you beat him off?"

"What do you call saplings in the army? the infantry"

"Did you hear about the Pharaoh getting kicked out of the Grammy's? I guess that's what happens when you toot on Common."

"I'm not afraid of death, so much as I am of dying! I wanna die how my father died, peacefully in his sleep, not like his screaming terrified passengers! *Gotham, Mondays on Fox*"

"A helium atom walks into a bar. The bartender says ""get out, we don't serve your kind here"". The helium atom did not react."

"Honey Boo Boo changes name to Sugar Scab."

"Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going."

"How did Jim start losing weight after the holidays? He just quit eating cold turkey."

"The recipe said ""prick with a fork,"" but enough about me."

"2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Badum tsss."