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Joke of the Day

"How did Jim start losing weight after the holidays? He just quit eating cold turkey."

"A Chicago High School played Justin Bieber's ""Baby"" between classes and students had to pay to stop it - They earned $1,000 in 3 days."

"The head of the 2016 Somali Olympic squad has apologized to officials on behalf of their team... ...after realizing shooting and sailing were two separate events."

"If you Happy and you know it thank your ex!"

"Did you hear about the Meat Packing CEO? He built his empire from the ground up. Ground up meat."

"Having fun with your primary-school friends, a perfectly legal thing to do, before... ...the *age of consent* was invented."

"Hub: You ready to go? Me: In a minute, I'm beating the kids. [Cut to me just decimating the kids at Mario Kart]"

"What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back..."

"How do they make bras for octopi? With suction cups."

"Donald Trump is Mac user He's definitely not PC"