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Joke of the Day

"A helium atom walks into a bar. The bartender says ""get out, we don't serve your kind here"". The helium atom did not react."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two but you're going to need a damn big lightbulb."

"Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What've you got?"

"TIFU by downloading different captions Whoops, wrong sub."

"What's the opposite of an antijoke? An unclejoke"

"Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down."

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon."

"I have just seen a load of dyslexic africans. They were laying flowers at nissan maindealers."

"What do you call a magical dwarf? A midgetcian!"

"Do you like jokes that make you think a little? If you had an one-legged horse, what would you name it? Flattery."